I wrote yesterday’s blog, added the photos and tapped publish. Between my iPhone and my website, something went wrong and both that post and a draft I was working on about me and my friend Rob wanting to go to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival were deleted. The essence of yesterday’s entry was that I went to the beach, was looking forward to going to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter today, and lamented the closure of Dreamland, a theme park in Margate, south east England.
So on to today. Not going to dwell on this but WWOHP was a massive disappointment for me. As I discussed in yesterday’s vanished post, I don’t enjoy rides at theme parks, so I don’t go on them. There are three at WWOHP. The one which I sort-of did want to go on had an hour’s queue time, so I didn’t bother. So I can’t judge the park on its rides, as I didn’t experience any of them.
The buildings are all topped with snow-covered rooves. This I have never understood. However far up in Scotland Hogsmeade is supposed to be, it wouldn’t be snow-covered all year round. Amusingly the castle – much higher up than the village – is snow-free. Riddle me that, Mr Park Designer.
I started off in Zonko’s Joke Shop. The inference by the production designers of both the films and park – same people – is that because wizards don’t use electricity, they are unable to light their shops properly, or clean anything. The passageway to the toilets was dark and the walls were covered in greenish muck, or something. Speaking of the toilets: America, seriously. Why do you have large gaps between the door and the cubicle? People can see inside the toilet!
I was now in Honeydukes. I left quickly and walked back in to bright sunshine. I saw The Three Broomsticks, which again looked very dark and like Madam Rosmerta had given up cleaning the place decades ago. Nothing like the jolly pub I was expecting.
I moved on, seeing a few fake shop fronts like Scrivenshaft’s then past the long queue for Ollivander’s up to Hogwarts Castle. The castle was impressive, I’ll give them that.
Briefly – I queued at a Butterbeer cart and asked for frozen. This is apparently the good stuff. A lazy American drawled that I couldn’t have any, but “maybe in 15 or 20 minutes”. Fine, whatever. I waited and went back. $4.25 and it wasn’t even that nice, just a bit like a fudge Slushie or something.
There were Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students doing some sort of photo opportunity and then some Hogwarts students did some singing, that song from one of the films where an absurdly young Flitwick conducts the never-before-mentioned school choir.
I left after having my photo taken (below) with the conductor of the Hogwarts Express, who was nice and said he knew Kent (where I live) very well – i think he was actually English, not just one of the Americans who bothered to try to effect the accent. I then went to the adjacent Jurassic Park land. This was lots of fun, because there were things to DO, as opposed to just things to buy at inflated prices and rides to ride. I learned about dinosaur fossils and merged my “DNA” with that of a dinosaur to make an amusing hybrid creature (photo below).
We then went to a live magic show. A man did card tricks, showed us a wallet which produced flames when opened, a thing which allowed you to levitate objects, and some sponges he did funny things with, appearing and disappearing and multiplying. It was more interesting than anything I saw in WWOHP, because it surprised me. There was nothing interesting or magical about WWOHP for me, sadly. Although, yes, I acknowledge I didn’t go on any of the rides.
A bit later I went on a boat that is meant to Popeye’s, or something. I have no idea what most of these lands and attractions are about because I’ve not seen/read what it’s based on, but that was fun anyway. I left Islands of Adventure shortly after this.
Going to end this entry on a nicer note and recount a dream I had last night. I rarely remember my dreams, sadly. John Green says other people’s dreams are only interesting to them (put far more nicely, of course) but I shall put it here because I don’t know where else to.
I was arranging a gig for Lucie Jones (currently Cosette in LES MISÉRABLES in London) and Tom Jones. I went in to bar and Cheryl Cole was there. I then went upstairs to a cinema and it was a screening of Deathly Hallows. June Ackland from THE BILL was there, as were the fighting girls from THE X FACTOR the other week, both naked, unfortunately.
It was at this point that I woke up. Phew.
